Since my year in Ap Lang is winding down, I thought it was about time to reflect on my year of writing. In doing so, I took two piece of writng that I believe were either excellent to being with or that I revised to make them excellent. Below are my two writings along with my explanation of why I thought they were good example of excellent writing. Enjoy! It'salmost summer:)

Evolution of Excellent Writing

One short piece of writing: Rhetorical analysis for periodic sentence and policy

Einstein’s Letter to FDR Analysis

Rhetorical Analysis:

Albert Einstein was a scientist during the twentieth century, and would later become known as the scientist who helped invent the atomic bombs we dropped on Japan. During FDR’s Presidency, however, he brought to attention the potential help and harm nuclear power is capable of. The letter he wrote to FDR used periodic sentences to persuade Roosevelt that something must be done about nuclear power. Einstein states, “A single bomb of this type, carried by boat and exploded in a port, night very well destroy the whole port together with some of the surrounding territory.” In providing this periodic sentence, Einstein gradually shows the destruction nuclear weapons can cause. Additionally, by waiting to state the main point at the end of the sentence, Einstein builds up the background information about the dangers of the bomb, thus making the issue more serious. As a result, this periodic sentence provides strong persuasion due to the gradual build of points base on their importance. By providing vague information then finally getting to the point, Einstein is persuasive because it show how educated he is on the topic.

            In addition, Einstein proposed suggestions for Roosevelt to take to help us take control of the situation pertaining to nuclear power and weapons. This is shown when Einstein says, “One possible way of achieving this might be for you to entrust with this task a person who has your confidence and who could perhaps serve you in official capacity.” Through the use of policy, a course of action recommended to solve a problem, Einstein proposes a possible way for FDR to have help on the current situation. The use of this policy helps Edison’s persuasion; America should get involved to help regulate nuclear use, by telling FDR a possible way to help. By offering his ideas, Einstein then creates the persona that he cares about what is going on and is also educated on the topic at hand.

Statement on why this represents good writing: Throughout the school year I always had a difficulty when it came to rhetorical analysis. However, I feel that my writing has evolved and this piece is a representation of that. This piece demonstrates excellence of rhetorical analysis because it identifies the rhetorical device the author will be speaking of, gives textual evidence of that device and provide commentary on why the quote is an example of the certain device and how it relates back to the question being asked

One longer piece of writing:

Final Exam: Argumentative Timed Writing

            Many people value books for the possible knowledge they contain. However, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer believes otherwise. In his passage, he argues that by reading books, humans are corrupting their minds with foreign thoughts. Additionally, he argues that reading constrains a person’s own thoughts and beliefs. While many would agree and say that reading does corrupt the personal thoughts and beliefs of humans, reading actually expands and builds knowledge thus causing people to create their own thoughts.

            Beginning with the Salem Witch Trials, many believed the stories they read about witches. Soon, after this idea was planted into their minds, people began hanging those around them and even dogs they believed to be witches, all based on what they read. These people were quickly corrupted by foreign thoughts basically causing them to take action without reason. So, in this case reading actually had a harmful effect because it made people think that witches actually existed. Due to the “brainwashing” effect the books had, people lost their lives due to the corruption thoughts planted in people’s minds.

            George Washington, our nation’s first president. He was an intelligent man; however he faced the grueling task of establishing the United States government. Not knowing what to do, he turned to history for the answer. He used old texts from various countries as models to help create our government. By using the documents only as a reference, this helped him better decide the things he did or did not want as a part of our government. In doing so, Washington created his own thoughts and beliefs through the example governments which helped him establish the government we still have today.

            However, reading doesn’t always have a negative and possibly “brainwashing” effect on its readers. In many cases, reading was what helped give our world some of its great thinkers and leaders. For example the great Confederacy leader General, Robert E. Lee. Do you think one day he woke up and knew how to command an army? No! He studied the great military leaders that had come before him. However, by reading about their techniques and experiences, Lee adapted his own plan. So, by learning from texts about those who had come before him, Lee was able to adapt his own military style that helped him in key battles.

            Another key thinker in American history, Albert Einstein, used books to develop a basis of knowledge that would later enable him to help create the world’s first atomic bomb. He studied other scientists who had also tried to create and atomic bomb. By studying the works of others documented in books and other various texts, Einstein was then able to develop his own idea and thoughts.

            One may now see that even though the misconception about books is present, in reality it is not valid. Reading causes the reader to create their own beliefs and/or thoughts based on others. By doing this instead of being “brainwashed”, true intelligence shows and a person’s overall knowledge is expanded.

Statement on why this represents good writing: This piece of writing demonstrates excellence because it eloquently answers the question being asked while also providing an enjoyable experience to the audience.

How has my writing evolved over the year?

            I believe my writing has significantly evolved from the beginning of the year. But, to keep this short and simple, I believe I have evolved most in my ability to relate my commentary and use of examples back to my thesis.

A sample of my personal writing: an editorial on the American Experience. While this is not the best writing I have ever done, it was my first attempt at writing an editorial and I am proud of it. Enjoy!

To Protest, or Not to Protest

          Gimmie that! It’s my turn! No, it’s my turn! As a little kid, you believe you should get what you want, when you want it. Whether it is your turn on the swing set or your turn to pick what TV show to watch, people always seem to fight for what they want. This has been seen throughout history, however, on a much larger scale. In America, people have not always had the freedoms they have wanted. To obtain what they wanted, people fought for what they believed in through the implication of protests. In order for people to get what they want, they must protest.

            Protesting has played an important role in the development of the American nation we know today. These protests were well thought out methods used to voice opinions. The misconception people have, however, is the thought of medieval times when people stormed the castle with their pitch forks and torches. This is not the case. Yes this was the way of protesting back then, but it has greatly evolved since then. For instance, the idea of peaceful protesting is now more favorable than violent uprisings. Now yes there are plenty of other means of voicing your opinion, but logically, protesting is the most successful way.

 Protesting has helped us gain rights such as the freedom of speech and the freedom of the press; rights we never even imagined possible. Without protesting, we may not have ever attained the basic rights we have today.

            For a vast amount of time, African Americans were denied the rights whites had were simply based on the color of their skin. They were denied “unalienable rights” such as the right to vote and the right to work for equal pay. This spurred the Civil Rights Movement. People such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. strived towards acquiring the rights that he, and many others had been wrongly denied. In order to attain what he wanted, Martin Luther King Jr. encouraged peaceful protests. He encouraged people to use tactics such as boycotts and sit-ins but always stresses non- violent acts.

            Without the desire to make a better life for themselves, where would African Americans or even anyone else with a dream be without the improvements made as a result of protests?. Without protests, we may have never integrated our schools and allowed our fellow citizens the right to vote. So who knows, without protests, we could still be “separate but equal”. Though the implication of protests, African American stood up for what they believed in, and in doing so, they paved the way for others to do the same.

When I was in elementary school, every January, we would learn about Martin Luther King Jr. in honor of the upcoming holiday. After learning of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and everything he accomplished, decided I wanted use similar ideas.

 As a little girl, I too preformed my fair share of peaceful protests. Growing up in a house of three girls, it was not always easy to get what I wanted. For instance, we only had one “kids” computer that the three of us had to share. We all liked to play computer games but taking turns was not always our strong suit. When one of my sisters was on the computer and I wanted a turn, I would protest. I would stand in front of the computer screen so she could not see the game anymore. I would then refuse to move until she gave up the computer and let me have my turn. Without using violence, I was still able to get my point across. By protesting, and fighting for what I believed was rightfully mine, I got what I wanted.

Protesting has helped our country grow from its beginning as the thirteen colonies to the fifty states that make up our nation today. Without their helping hands along the way, we may have never gotten to experience the results they yield. Protests are an important part of our history, and they should never be forgotten.